Chapter Two
After she had completed her chores Misha lay down in her sleeping corner and tried to gather her thoughts. She was a little afraid. Vena was so wise. She advised the council and most adults would consult her if there were disputes they could not settle. What would she make of little Misha paying her a visit? Perhaps she would laugh and dismiss her, or would she get cross? She had never seen Vena angry, and she feared that. She hated anger anyway; it never seemed to solve anything. The men of the village seemed to rule with the threat of anger or punishment, and it didn’t make for happy people.
What did she want to ask? She didn’t really know, except for the aching question inside her; and she couldn't ask Vena that because she didn't know what it was.
She turned her head as she heard a sound. It was her father entering through the heavy curtain that was the door of their home. He padded quietly across the hay that softened and warmed the ground and knelt beside her.
"My little Misha, why so solemn, why so alone?" he asked gently, not expecting an answer, "Why are you so different from other children? I love you dearly, yet I fear for your future. What man would want such a still, deep wife?"
Misha took his hand. "I cannot be but who I am father. I love you too. Could I not stay in this peaceful home?"
"I wish it were that easy" he replied, "but you know the way we are. I will try and find you a man who has the same gentleness you do, but it will not be easy. Still…." and he visibly brightened," we do not have to worry yet. Let us both enjoy the childhood you have left."
He kissed her and went to build the fire in preparation for the meal Misha's mother would be cooking.
Misha closed her eyes. She had so little time to find some answers. She could not bear the thought of being a wife and having to fit in with all the rules and regulations of the village. It felt as if her life was going to end in a few short years. Life was so full of mysteries and she longed to understand them, explore the nature of her being, to find the invisible which hung over her and called to her in every moment.
When she woke in the morning, in that half sleeping state she could almost touch it, it seemed to caress her. She would curl up in its warmth and love, not understanding anything of it other than knowing that it was safe, and that it wanted and loved her.
She had never dared to speak of such things, even to Lec. When she was tiny she had assumed that everyone experienced this. As she grew older it became obvious by their behaviour that they did not. As time passed she hugged it closer to herself, feeling more and more isolated and different.
She turned on her back, and staring beyond the seen came to a decision. Whatever the cost she must follow this. Wherever it took her, however much it hurt, she would go where it led. She was flooded with a sense of relief, but in the back of her mind was also a deep fear. She chose to ignore it.
